There’s an Internet joke about a man who sees a beautiful girl, keeps quiet, and eventually fetches water on her wedding.
Abit stretched of course, yet it carries a grain of truth, when it comes to relationships, Young men are wiser if they introduce some intentionality to the girl they have liked for a long time.
Because in a hook-up culture like ours today, Christian men, especially, cannot afford to coast too long in the “Someday-we-will-get-married” zone.
Yet I hear you, a couple may have decided to genuinely wait, perhaps due to lessons from past relationships, or God’s timing, or geographical reasons, for some reason, and maybe they are justified to “hold on,” in some sense. Perhaps back then, they invested their heart too quickly, only for the whole thing to crumble.
Heart matters can be this stormy, even chaotic, that’s why a guy who takes the lead and casts a clear vision for the relationship not only helps ‘clear the air’ but also provides an opportunity for friends and family to come alongside, in supporting such a noble cause. Of course our materialistic culture rarely fuels such ambitions, males often freak out at the possibility of a costly wedding. (Not to mention her wedding day preferences)
And there is wisdom in that, yet on the other hand, a commendable number of young women will also tell you how emotionally costly and vague an undefined relationship can be.
Somebody is going to ask, well, does every relationship have to lead to marriage? and I am going to ask back, shouldn’t Christian dudes only be dating when they are ready to marry? Shouldn’t they be letting ‘their light shine’ by showing a broken world that a young woman can be romantically and ultimately treasured, only towards the aisle, for the glory of God?
I am yet to find statistics implicating the so-called ‘slow brothers’ but one thing I am certain about, we’ve got them around in the pews, they are “whatsapping”, visiting, calling, flirting, wooing, and joking, sometimes for several months, even years, without a single ounce of “formalizing things.’
We only hope they are not waiting for a burning bush experience. We hope none of them is waiting for thunder to know whether she is ‘the one.’ For when it comes to marriage, God has already thundered in his word about a man’s role in taking the lead.
So dude, after you’ve confirmed you are no longer a teenager, yet you find yourself in a romantic relationship, maybe looking in the clouds once more won’t help, God has already thundered in his word. Right? Now let me hear an “Amen!”