Headline story, as it ran on Resurrection day.

headline
Image source: dreamstime.com 

In an unexpected turn of events, the renowned Carpenter from Bethlehem, Jesus Christ, has risen from the dead, 72hours after an excruciating crucifixion that left Temple curtains torn, and Pontius Pilate hands clean.

The baffling occurrence leaves many future skeptics confused at the idea that Joseph’s wife, Mary, from a remote Bethlehem village, could be a preferred means in carrying out God’s redemption plan.
The resurrection follows a series of of indisputable miracles and embodied wisdom that have left the Judea region both astonished and in denial concerning the promised Messiah and announced son of the living God.
Thomas, whose second name couldn’t be readily availed, confirmed the Sunday morning incident noting how he personally felt Jesus’s scars “with my own hands.”
Unlike other incidents in the past, including Elijah’s disappearance on a golden chariot, Jonah’s intercession in a fish’s belly, and Elisha’s floating axe stunt , Jesus’s walking on water and finally rising from the dead finally brings an end to an Adam dilemma that has plagued mankind as to how man can access and finally be reconciled to his creator.
Speaking to our reporter, Apostle Paul also known as “Saul of Tarsus” noted how this event is forever going to be central for those who call Jesus Lord.
“If Christ is not risen,” he noted with confidence, “we are all better off eating and drinking because tomorrow we will die.” (1 Cor 15:32)
The Apostle, whose resume carries a passion in persecuting early Christians, also noted how Jesus’ resurrection is a hope that those who die in faith will also resurrect, “Jews and Gentiles can finally benefit from a new style of pigeon-less worship.” he added.
Our investigation in these baffling events also discovered the New Testament, a fascinating 33  document detailing the significance of this Sunday event.
Billions worldwide continue to gather every Sunday morning in celebration of this event, with a steadfast hope that because God came into our world, took on flesh, lived, died and resurrected, life has meaning, death is not final and eternal life is theirs and secure.
Atheist and antagonistic sources that disputed this account, could neither point our reporters to the purpose of the Universe, nor a way man can gain peace without his creator.
In other related news, thousands of self styled teachers continue to misrepresent the life, mission and nature of this life-altering Nazarene.
Sources that preferred anonymity, specifically point to these 21st century interpretations of his resurrection; poverty eradication, promises of matrimony, job acquisitions as direct results of the resurrection, claims our reporter couldn’t confirm as biblical, even among first century Christians.
Additional reporting by Bible.
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